Can you relate? Does it always seem to be your responsibility? Is this annoying to you? Does it make you angry and resentful?
To me, this is a situation that is best viewed through perspective. When we are involved in intimate relationships and living together, the sharing of responsibilities can often seem imbalanced. There are things I always do that my husband never does. Then, I have to remind myself – there are things he always does that I never do!
(On a side note, we find using “always” or “never” in sentences with each other, only leads to bad places….and invariably there is always an exception – pun intended!)
Say you’re always in the kitchen at the time the dog needs to eat, is it really that big a deal to feed the pup?
Yet we can build up so much resentment as we allow ourselves to think:
“It’s always my job,”
“I’m tired of doing it,”
“Why is it always me me me!”
The perspective we allow ourselves to take is as much for our own experience, during whatever chore we’re completing, as it is for how we will also experience our significant other – that would be whomever we see as the other viable option to be doing this chore instead.
If I am focused on being angry that I am always the one to feed the dog, telling myself:
“Why does it always land on me?”
“Ugh one more thing added to my list to do!”
“The dog isn’t only mine!”
I find myself frothing at the mouth, wanting to yell or scream at someone, feeling angry at the dog, at my spouse, and the kids, or life in general.
Invariably, the next person I see will get to experience my anger.
However, the more I keep my thoughts focused on gratitude, telling myself: “I am grateful I can easily feed the dog.
“I am grateful we have the food for him.”
“It is my pleasure to fulfill this task for my sweet puppy.” (Even though he’s not always that sweet.)
Giving myself these messages makes my experience more enjoyable.
Plus the next person I see, will also get the loving, grateful, kind me that I most enjoy being!
The next time you find yourself feeling angry while doing a chore, ask yourself: Is this perspective making this experience better or worse for me?
We all have the power to choose our perspective in any given moment, and usually there are several easily available ones to choose from, if you take the moment to consider. I invite you to choose the one that will make you feel best!